How to embrace life's curve balls

WHAT does change mean to you? When faced with change, especially one you didn’t choose, it’s natural to feel resistance, frustration, or even fear. However, have you ever stopped to ask yourself, ‘What could this change bring into my life that I haven’t yet considered?’ Or, ‘How might this experience develop qualities in me that I wouldn’t otherwise have explored?’

These questions open up new perspectives, inviting you to see opportunity even in challenging transitions that we often find ourselves fighting and resisting. Take it from someone who knows that option well, and you’ll usually just find yourself exhausted.

So how do you sustain a level of resilience through change?

I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about avoiding discomfort; it’s about leaning into it and moving through it with a sense of purpose and openness. Have I mentioned this is not always easy? Here are a few practical tips to help you stay proactive and empowered through life’s inevitable twists:

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

It’s okay to feel disappointed or hurt when faced with unwanted change. Take moments to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Be willing to consider there may well be an opportunity through the other side of this that you can’t see yet? If you are struggling, seek support from a professional who can assist you in growing through the experience. This self-compassion is a foundation of resilience.

2. Seek Support and Connection

Resilience doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Whether it’s reaching out to a friend or working with a coach, discussing your experiences can lighten the load. In times of uncertainty, genuine connection can be a powerful reminder that you’re not alone. We are so lucky to be surrounded by the wisdom of others, so make the most of it.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

Whether it’s a job loss or a relationship shift, many aspects of change are out of our control. But by honing in on what is within your influence – like your reaction (or as I prefer to say ‘how you respond’), and your next steps – you can find a sense of agency. Ask yourself, ‘What small step can I take today to feel a little more grounded?’ And ‘What is outside my circle control which I need to surrender/let go of that doesn’t support me to hold onto? (including negative emotions).

4. Reframe the Narrative

In my Kinesiology practice, I encourage clients to view change as an opportunity for growth rather than a setback – especially that which is presented rather than chosen. For instance, have you ever noticed the common denominator ‘s?#t happens (technical term ;-) is always you? Whether you’ve recently lost a job, or a relationship, or something smaller, look for the patterns, your internal dialogue, or the familiar feeling. Then ask yourself why you keep finding yourself in this familiar predicament? What is my narrative that continues to be reinforced by these patterns of undesired change? What belief about myself or my life does this confirm? Self-sabotage is often part of the equation. Unconscious of course. As challenging as it can be, reframing your narrative is a starting point within your control. Begin to change your internal and external dialogue to create greater alignment in producing and attracting what you do want.

A final thought…Life is unpredictable, and changes – both planned and unplanned – are inevitable. The key to navigating any change isn’t about knowing the future; it’s about learning to trust in yourself, no matter what comes. So, next time you’re faced with an unexpected shift, ask yourself, ‘What strengths, lessons, growth or opportunity might I uncover through this experience?’

Embracing an opportunity to build your resilience muscle doesn’t mean you’ll always feel positive, but it does mean you’ll have the tools to keep moving forward, finding meaning, purpose and growth along the way. And that is the true power of resilience.

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