Do you find yourself or create who you want to be?

GEORGE BERNARD Shaw famously said, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." This powerful quote invites us to take an active role in shaping who we are, rather than passively searching, internalising or maybe even going on a witch hunt for a pre-existing identity based on one’s childhood.

In a world where self-discovery is often emphasised, Shaw's words remind us that we have the power to design our own lives, to construct our own identities. This process of creation is not just about what we do, it is the source of who and how we choose to be for ourselves, others and the world. It’s also about how we understand and manage our internal world – our thoughts, feelings, and core values.

As a Kinesiologist and coach, I am often working with individuals and teams as they navigate the sometimes-chaotic identity of their past conditioning and experiences, with the ever-present pressures and conditioning of an opinion-polluted world. The bombardment of advertising, social media and comparison is not only confusing, it can take you off course to the truth of who you want to be.

Luckily for me, Kinesiology offers a unique approach to support and enhance this journey, helping individuals align with their true selves and master the art of living intentionally, creating who they want to be. What many may not have considered is that they’re possibly currently on auto pilot and experiencing life as a culminative result of their past circumstances.

So where to begin moving away from the concept of finding one’s self and moving toward the creation process of who you want to be?

Firstly, understand this is a multifaceted exercise, because it not only impacts you, it also impacts others, and the ripple effect beyond. Secondly, consider we have marinated in a world constantly reminding us that who we are is a result of what we have and do. As a corporate marketer in my early years (prior to leaping into a career as a Kinesiologist and coach), I am the first to put my hand up and own that I was part of the problem. Take a look at most advertisements and what they promise you will experience when you ‘have’ their product. Sometimes it’s excelling your capabilities (doing) which ultimately leads to the being of happy, cool, popular, and so on, version of you.

Ever found yourself waiting for your life to start? Well…..to ‘really’ start? To be living and being who you want to be in the life you want to live, rather than the way it is? Maybe you’ve noticed yourself having a regular internal dialogue which sounds a little like…” When I have… then I will do… and THEN I will be happy, successful, content, etc”? The sad, and sometimes destructive, part of this model is it mostly doesn’t work. Why? Well, first and foremost, we are humans – human BEINGS that is. So, I ask you, why do we constantly leave the ‘being’ to the default of what we have and do, rather than choose who and how we ‘be’ and approach what we do and have from that direction?

The starting line I often position clients at is knowing their core values. This is slightly different to ‘what’ you value. Your core values are the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide our decisions, actions, and overall approach to life. These core values are the foundation upon which we build our sense of self but it is often an unconscious relationship. Knowing and understanding these values is crucial in the process of creating yourself because they serve as a compass, directing you toward what truly matters.

The key here is that there is no right or wrong. Your values are your values and I promise you, you’ll like them and probably won’t be interested in exchanging them for a new set. When you align your internal compass with your core values, your actions, choices and behaviour are an ally in creating a life, and a you, that is authentic and meaningful.

Aligning with these values is not always straightforward. Often we are influenced by societal expectations, family pressures, or past experiences, which can obscure our choices and behaviours. Creating unconscious blocks and sabotages around who you want to be, is a human condition, so no, you are not alone in this. I often say to clients, “I wouldn’t have the business I have if you were the only person who has this issue”.

And yes, you guessed it, Kinesiology can assist in this process of clearing the mental and emotional blockages that prevent you from accessing your potential self and aligning with the person you want to be. By bringing your core values to the forefront of your awareness, you can begin to make conscious decisions that align your behaviours and choices of the you you’d rather be.

So what’s next in the creation process of you? Well, it’s the most common denominator in your life that is with you every single second of every single day… yes, that’s you. This means all your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions and all that creates your experience of life. Mastering your thoughts and feelings involves recognising the power of choice. Every thought and feeling you experience presents an opportunity to choose how you respond. Do you want to react out of fear or insecurity, or would you rather respond from a place of love, consideration and empowerment?

Not sure how to do this? Again, I’m lucky I have all the tools offered through being a PKP Kinesiologist. There’s a plethora of techniques to help you manage your thoughts and feelings effectively. By identifying and releasing negative thought patterns and emotional blockages, PKP Kinesiology enables you to cultivate a mindset that supports your goals and aspirations. This process empowers you to become the master of your internal world, allowing you to respond to life's challenges with clarity and confidence.

The next area to get clarity around the you, and the life, you want to create are your boundaries. They are another essential component in the process of creating yourself. They define what is acceptable and unacceptable in your life, protecting your well-being and ensuring that your core values are honoured. Healthy boundaries allow you to maintain your integrity and authenticity, preventing external influences from shaping you in ways that are not aligned with your commitments, your goals and your values.

An easy quick way to establish healthy boundaries starts when you recognize where your boundaries have been compromised and where they need to be strengthened. Whether it's emotional, physical, financial or mental boundaries, this practice brings awareness of the areas in your life where clarity is required on what does or doesn’t work for you. Start spring cleaning your boundaries and it’ll be far easier to teach others how to treat you, thus creating an empowered space where you can grow and evolve into the person you want to be.

Creating yourself is a dynamic and ongoing process that requires self-awareness, intentionality, and support structures. By understanding and aligning with your core values, establishing healthy boundaries, and mastering your thoughts and feelings, you can design a life that is authentic, fulfilling, and impactful.

Here’s an invitation…Take a minute or two right now and close your eyes. Imagine what it would be like if the power to create who you want to be was possible, and at your fingertips? How would it feel? What would it look like? What if you could begin right now?

PKP Kinesiology offers valuable tools, techniques and guidance to assist you in this journey, helping you unlock your true potential and create a self that is not only aligned with your deepest values but also capable of thriving in the world. As George Bernard Shaw's quote suggests, the power to create yourself lies within you – embrace it, and shape the life you truly desire.